Nine Applications from the Song of Songs for Our Marriages

Nine Applications from the Song of Songs for Our Marriages

Hurricane Ian prevented us from meeting for our final lesson. While the story of redeeming love between shepherd and Shulamite reminds us of God’s love for the church, there are also practical lessons to apply.

“May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth...” (1:1). Sex is a beautiful gift of God. No need to allegorize the Song. It really is, on one level, a celebration of human love. God created us male and female; He blesses our marriages according to His will. Sexual intimacy is an exhilarating part of that union, which God has designed not only for procreation, but to form a strong bond (Gen. 2:24-25, 1 Tim. 4:1-4, Prov. 5:18-19).

“In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste” (2:3). Intimacy is for both men and women to enjoy. There’s a myth that men crave it, and women tolerate it. She speaks twice as many lines as he does! It The best marriages feature mutual interest and participation (1 Cor. 7:2-3).

“I adjure you, daughters of Jerusalem ... that you do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases...” (2:7, 3:5, 8:4). Sex is for the committed relationship of marriage. While there are a range of interpretations here, the idea seems to be either not to rush into love, or not to inflame passion until the appropriate time. As Christians, we know to avoid the physical, emotional, and spiritual pitfalls of premarital sex (1 Cor. 6:9-11, Heb. 13:4). It is designed to tighten the bonds of marriage; it confuses relationships where there are no lifelong vows. It complicates future ones, too.

“A garden locked is ... my bride” (4:12, 8:8-9). “Choice fruits ... which I have saved up for you, my beloved” (7:13). Virginity is a wonderful gift to give your spouse. Make up your mind to save that gift for your one true love. (And if not, what joy to know that God is forgiving!)

“Most beautiful among women...” (1:8). “My dove, my perfect one...” (5:2). “Outstanding among ten thousand...” (5:10). “There are sixty queens and eighty concubines but ... my perfect one is unique” (6:8-9). Have eyes only for your spouse. Forsake all others; don’t even fantasize. In this world of temptations, focus on the great blessings you have at home (Prov. 5:15-20).

“My sister, my bride...” (4:10). Get the relationship right, first! Intimacy is a small part of a wonderful relationship. Great sex cannot fix a bad relationship. She calls him, “my beloved” (4:16) and “my friend” (5:16). She praises him for his name (1:3) and his provision (1:16-17). What a blessing to be lovers who serve one another patiently as only Christians know how (Phil. 2:3-11, Col. 3:1-25)!

“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards...” (2:15). Beware the enemies of marriage. There are a range of interpretations here too, but without a doubt, Satan will throw down many obstacles to prevent a good marriage or break one up. He can use little squabbles to rob joy, separate a family, and even disturb a church. Don’t let him do it!

“Drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers” (5:1). Date one another constantly. Schedule time; be romantic (Eph. 5:29). Invest in each other physically and emotionally. Embarrass your kids with a little innocent PDA.

“If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, it would be utterly despised” (8:6-7). A great marriage is a blessing to all. It produces faithful children, strong churches, good elders. It models Jesus’ love for His church. A great marriage is more to be desired than all the gold of Solomon. Not to mention his harem.

–John Guzzetta