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How To Tell if Your Parents Really Do Hate You
How To Tell if Your Parents Really Do Hate You
Many children feel their parents are too mean, too strict, or don’t understand the problems of teens. Occasionally, children may loudly accuse Mom or Dad of hating them.
Kids, to help you out with this, I offer some tests that will prove whether your parents really do hate you!
1.) Do they let you go cold and hungry?
Proverbs 23:22 says, “listen to your father, who gave you life.” Most loving moms and dads brought you into the world at considerable expense, sacrifice, and pain. After you were born, they provided care, shelter, changed your diapers, spoon fed you, pushed your stroller, coached you, drove you around. They broke the bank to pay for a roof over your head, emergency room visits, school lunches, uniforms, toys and activities, all without question.
If Mom and Dad refuse to provide food and clothes, you have the evidence you need—they want you to suffer. But we must admit that’s rare. Matthew 7:9 says, “what man is there among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone?”
What’s that you say? They’ve deprived you of a cell phone or Xbox? Well, that’s suffering for sure (even though, now that I think about it, those devices weren’t available when I grew up). But there might be other reasons why parents would withhold them. As much as we’d like to, we cannot include that as proof of hatred. But don’t give up hope, there are still more tests that will show Mom and Dad really do hate you!
2.) Do they leave it up to you to discover God on your own?
Some parents believe kids should have the freedom to find their own way to God, to decide for themselves whether God is an important part of life.
Trouble is, most children do not yet possess the tools or abilities to make those decisions. Thus, parents make diligent efforts to steer their children toward the God they know to be true. As Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” The time to do this is when brains are forming a worldview. Proverbs 22:6 suggests, “train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Have your parents abandoned you to make your own search for God without their guidance? Have they stopped dragging you to church? Then perhaps they don’t care where you end up. But if they keep teaching you, they still love you.
By the way, wise parents know that although they force their kids to attend church, Satan still will provide many opportunities for them to question the truth and choose other paths. Parents need not be concerned to offer equal time to Satan; he will claim it himself.
3.) Do they let you do whatever you please, no questions asked?
That’s what David did with his son Adonijah. 1 Kings 1:6 says, “his father never crossed him at any time by asking, ‘Why have you done so?’” And Adonijah repaid his daddy by revolting against his throne and trying to steal the kingdom. His own brother Solomon had to put him to death to end his scheming.
If mom and dad are all the time saying, “Junior can do whatever he wants, we just want him to do what makes him happy” then they might be plotting your downfall. But if they ask you to consider your actions, and if they lecture you about the folly of your decisions, they probably still love you.
4.) Do they hand you everything you ask for on a silver platter?
If they do that, you might be onto something. They must really hate you! They know that’s not the way the world works, and they must be setting you up for a spectacular disappointment, just for fun. They can’t wait to see you crash and burn in five to ten years, when you discover the professor gives out grades based on performance, the boss fires people who do not show up on time, the grass doesn’t cut itself, credit cards have to be repaid, and people who break rules get punished. In fact, Hebrews 12:4-11 suggests that if your parents do not put you through some struggles, you might be illegitimate! Kids, check the records!
But, if they pile on the chores, say “No” in the toy store and clothing aisle, or make you pay for your own night at the movies—sorry, we’ll have to keep looking for evidence of their hatred.
5.) Do they always take your side when you’ve done wrong?
Proverbs 13:24 says it plainly, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Proverbs 19:18 says, “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.”
If you’ve never gotten a spanking, mom and dad must want to see you become a wicked person and be eternally condemned, and that’s about the worst thing a parent could wish for. Don’t take my word for it—that’s what the wise man Solomon says is going on. As you grow up, if you’re not called onto the carpet for bad behavior, they might be plotting your doom.
When we look back over this list, I guess we can all be thankful that we have parents who love us so much!
—John Guzzetta
